Tandem Breastfeeding

Before I got pregnant with Ava, I knew little (make that none) about tandem breastfeeding. I didn’t even know it was a thing and that it even had a name –  that is, “tandem breastfeeding.”

Some background

My son, Elon Leo, was 2 years old when I realized I was pregnant with my daughter, Ava Trinity. At first, I thought, “Surely, the changing taste of my breastmilk would naturally make him lose interest.” But the opposite happened.

At the start of my pregnancy with Ava, Elon was already feeding less and less frequently. But as my pregnancy progressed, his frequency of feeding increased. Apparently, the changing taste of my breastmilk – if indeed it changed – did not throw him off, but the increasing volume of milk actually encouraged him to suckle more.

And so my daughter was born by C-section when Elon was nearly 3. I had to stay 3 days in the hospital. I thought, “Good. Now my son would be weaned off by the time I returned home.” But by all accounts, he threw tantrums left and right, asking for “mimam” (his toddler-speak for “breastfeeding” and “breastmilk”). And when I was back home, he had as prodigious an appetite for breastmilk as ever.

It was then I started to consider tandem breastfeeding and subsequently decided on a tandem breastfeeding strategy.

At first, I tried consecutive breastfeeding. I would feed the baby first. Then the toddler.

But it wasn’t long before this strategy failed. Whenever the toddler saw the baby nursing, he would insist on nursing, too. In fact, he would want priority over the baby. Oh, what monumental hissy fits he would throw!

And that’s when I thought of breastfeeding them simultaneously.

Simultaneous breastfeeding

As a compromise, I started letting them nurse at the same time. The difficult part was finding a good position that both of them – and me – would find comfortable.

Position

Finding a good breastfeeding position is particularly challenging for me.

When I first started breastfeeding my son a few years back, I struggled finding a good latching position for him. Cradle hold, cross-cradle hold, rugby ball hold, reclining, upright, dangle feeding, side-lying – I’ve tried all these and variations thereof trying to find the one most comfortable for me and baby.

As it turned out, the side-lying breastfeeding position was the most comfortable for my son and me.

However, the side-lying position is less than ideal for simultaneous nursing.

After experimenting with various positions, this became our default position: cradle hold for the baby and a rugby ball hold variation for the toddler. However, a double rugby ball hold is our alternative when one of them is especially fussy.

Note:

A rugby ball hold is called such because the position is akin to holding a rugby ball under one arm. In this position, the baby’s body is tucked under the arm (on one side of the body) while being supported by or resting on the forearm.

A double rugby ball hold, on the other hand, is tucking a baby under each arm – as if one’s holding two rugby balls at the same time, one rugby ball under each arm.

Left or right

Then, I also had to decide on which breast to give to each. The baby has an immature immune system, so I always washed with soap and water whichever breast the toddler suckled on before I could give it to the baby. (Althiugh I confess to being unable to do this twice; baby was fine afterwards.)

This was both time-consuming and tedious. So I decided to “assign” a breast to each: the left breast for the baby and the right for the toddler.

But this was not the best strategy supply-wise. The left side produced much lesser milk than the right side because the toddler consumed more. You know how it works: supply follows demand in breastfeeding.

To ensure that the left breast’s supply would not dwindle to nothing, I had to switch it up.

So during daytime, I nursed the baby on the right side and the toddler on the left side. And at night, I nursed the toddler on the right and the baby on the left.

Equipment

I need no special equipment. But a nursing pillow does help, especially when doing the double rugby ball hold.

The rewards of tandem breastfeeding

Fewer tantrums

With simultaneous breastfeeding comes fewer tantrums from Elon, who used to mind when I breastfed Ava.

Since he knows he can join in anytime he wants, he doesn’t even mind anymore those instances when Ava feeds on her own (that is, without him nursing at the same time, on the other breast).

Continued bonding

Because my son can continue breastfeeding, he and I continue to bond even if I now have to split my time and attention between him and his sister.

Stable supply and better flow

Because my son consumes a lot of milk, he continues to stimulate my milk supply.

And milk flow is improved, too. When the toddler is suckling on one breast, the flow on the other breast noticeably increases.

Weight loss

Breastfeeding itself leads to weight loss. But in my experience (then when I breastfed only my older child and now when I’m breastfeeding both him and my younger child), the weight loss is more significant. And so far, I have also been able to keep the weight off for a longer period.

Just before giving birth – yes, baby weight included – I weighed 75kg. After about 3 months of tandem breastfeeding, I was down to approx. 52 kg. And now, after nearly 1 whole year of tandem breastfeeding, I’m still at 51kg.

And I am not one to peck at food at all. I eat plenty, yet tandem breastfeeding is helping me maintain my weight.

Challenges of tandem breastfeeding

It could be challenging, finding a good position – especially when the other child is a toddler and therefore much bigger than the other. I’ve experienced a few skirmishes, typically involving a baby protesting an errant toddler head resting on her infant limbs. 😅

In the early days of tandem breastfeeding, moreover, I found it hard to get a good night’s sleep. Tandem breastfeeding during bedtime meant co-sleeping was essential. When Ava was but a few days to a few months old, I had to be very vigilant to ensure her airway is always open and that I and Elon (who had a tendency to roll over me to transfer breasts when he breastfed in his sleep) would not crush her.

Later, when Elon was finally accustomed to staying on his side of the breast instead of transferring to Ava’s side and after Ava has gained neck control to ensure she could turn her head herself to keep her own airway open, it was quite a chore, turning from one side to the other whenever a child demanded a feed in the middle of the night. There were times when it felt like all I did throughout the night was give side-lying feeds, one after the other. Needless to say, I coukdn’t sleep very well.

Then there are the wailing protests some nights or early morning when the toddler is demanding the side-lying position but the baby won’t let up either. I often end up giving them both what they want. I’d go on a semi side-lying position facing Elon. Ava, I would pull up and lay on top and she’d nurse in some sort of flat laid-back position along the raised side. Other times, I would do a side-lying position facing Ava, and Elon would do a reclined, laid-back feed – with his body lying across mine, head and upper body on my chest and lower body on the bed.

Either is not the most comfortable position to be in for me, but it’s bearable for short periods. After a few minutes, either Elon or Ava has his or her fill and voluntarily unlatches. At this point, I can transition to a more comfortable, full side-lying position facing the persisting child.

Finally, oversupply could also be a problem. It was an issue when Ava was younger. She would often spit up (and sometimes actually vomit) undigested breastmilk after feedings. She would also intermittently unlatch while feeding, as if overwhelmed by the milk flow.

But now that Ava is a bit older, my milk supply seems to be just right for her (and her brother).

Tandem breastfeeding can indeed be challenging. But it can also be truly rewarding. If you’re considering it, I say give it a try. Give it up if it’s not for you. Continue if you find it as rewarding as I do. Either way, momma, just do you. ❤